I don’t understand why you are waiting for his approval to divorce. Cali is a no fault state. File the papers, ask the court to order him to move out, quit the divorce counseling, and move on. Life’s too short to be this miserable and you aren’t doing the kids any favors. Use the money from the divorce counseling to pay your bills. Oh, and don’t let him buy a car while you are still together because you can be held responsible for half the debt. Cali is a community property state.